Wedding Wednesday Q&A: How Long Should Your Wedding Toasts Be?

Wedding Wednesday Q&A by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner of Mango Muse Events and creator of Passport to Joy online step by step wedding planning course for couples

Q: We’re trying to figure out our wedding toasts and we’re wondering, how many is too many? And how long should they be?

These are both really good questions!

Wedding toasts are a very traditional part of your wedding day.

It’s a chance for your loved ones to share their wishes for you. And it can a fun way for guests to learn something about the couple.

Happy couple laughing at their wedding reception toasts by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy, the online wedding planning course for couples
(Photo credit: Day 7 Photography)

But let’s be honest, wedding toasts can also be really boring!

I’m sure you’ve been to a wedding where someone just droned on and on… Or to a wedding where it seemed like everyone and their mother spoke.

Toasts are great, but in order for people to enjoy them (including you), you have to do them right. Otherwise your guests will get bored.

Because we’re all human. And although we’re adults, we don’t have long attention spans.

We just don’t.

So, with wedding toasts there are 2 rules you want to follow:

Rule #1 – Don’t have more than 4 toasts

Any more than 4 toasts and it’s just too much. Your guests will just lose interest if you have too many.

Now there is no minimum, but just don’t go over 4.

And if you have to have more than 4, have some people speak at the welcome or rehearsal dinner instead.

It will make it so much more enjoyable for everyone.

Rule #2 – Wedding toasts should be no longer than 5 minutes max

Ring bearer and flower girl listening to a wedding toast at a wedding reception by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy the online wedding planning course for couples
(Photo credit: Jerry Yoon Photographers)

Because it’s not just about the number of toasts, it’s the length too that matters.

If you have 2 toast givers but they talk for 20 minutes each, your guests will start nodding off.

No one can listen for that long about someone else.

So you want to keep your toasts short and sweet. 3-4 minutes is ideal and definitely not more than 5.

Wedding roast toast at a Sonoma wedding by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy the online wedding planning program for couples
(Photo credit: Chrisman Studios)

Wedding toasts are meant to share well wishes to the couple along with a story or a little roasting.

They’re meant to be fun for the couple and the guests.

So, make sure you keep it that way!

Limit your toast givers and let them know that they have a max of 5 minutes.

So that way, when they write their speech they can keep that timing in mind.

You can’t control how good of a speaker they are or how good of a toast it will be.

But, with these two rules, it will at least ensure that your wedding toasts are enjoyable for everyone.

Are you planning your wedding and feeling overwhelmed? You’re not quite sure what you should be doing or if what you’re doing is right?

Does this sound familiar?  We understand and we want to help make wedding planning easier and happier!

And here’s how you can get started:

Take the wedding quiz and find out if one of the three common pitfalls is holding you back or causing unnecessary stress.

So you can enjoy your engagement and also keep all your hair.

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