3 Reasons Why Planning Your Wedding is So Hard

It’s time for a reality check.  And time to be honest.

Today I’ve got an important question for you:

When planning or thinking about your wedding, have you ever thought to yourself (or screamed out loud), “Ugh, why is this so hard?!”  

Maybe it was when you were discussing location ideas with your fiancé or trying to make a decision on a venue.  Or perhaps it was when you were looking at the gazillion vendors online.  Or when you were pouring through Pinterest, magazines or bridal show pamphlets.

At some point, you threw your hands up and growled.   Or yelled, “I don’t know!”  Or put your head in your hands and wished you were doing something else, anything else.

It’s ok, be honest with yourself.  

Here’s the deal.  Planning your wedding is hard no matter how creative or organized you are.  No matter how much money you have.

But, it’s also not your fault!  There are real reasons why wedding planning is difficult.  And today I’m going to share the 3 reasons why planning your wedding is so hard.

When you know the reasons, you understand why you’re frustrated and stressed.  And then you can do something about it!  I promise we’ll get to that later, but first, let’s dive into reason #1.

3 reasons why planning your wedding is so hard by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy

Reason #1  – You don’t have the information you need

Everything you do in life requires information.  You need to know how to park in order to drive.  You need to know what a ranch style house is before you can make a decision on whether you want one.  And you need to know what the tech group at work is doing in order to coordinate your sales efforts.

And everything you do is so much easier if you have the information…Or so much harder if you don’t.

Wedding planning is not something you automatically know how to do.  You may understand the elements you need like a venue and an open bar.  But, you don’t know the different kinds of venues and or what a bar package really means.  You don’t know the ins and outs, the details or the what all the lingo means.

With the information, you can make a decision and move forward confidently.  But without the right information, planning your wedding is much harder.  You have to fumble around, try to search for answers and at times just guess your way through it.  All of which makes planning your wedding stressful.

Couple walking at their engagement session by the beach in Southern California

(Photo credit: Day 7 Photography)

Reason #2 – You don’t know the order of what you’re supposed to do and why

Imagine you’re putting together a bookcase from Ikea without the instructions.  You have all these parts, but without the instructions, you’re just sort of making it up as you go.  You may get there eventually, but not without having to spend more time putting pieces together and then taking them apart again.  And let’s not forget the frustration of not being able to figure out what the heck that one random piece does!

Planning your wedding is very similar.  Without knowing the order of the steps and why you’re just guessing which makes planning your wedding much harder.

If you do step 4 before step 1, then you’ve skipped something.  You don’t have all the information which results in lots of confusion and frustration.  And inevitably, it forces you to go back and start over wasting both time and often money too.

If you know what you need to do in the right order, it’s not only easy but it all makes sense.  

You can plan your wedding faster and you’re able to take on the next step when you’re ready for it.  But, without it, you’re flying blind, which makes wedding planning feel really overwhelming.

Multi colored seating cards for a plated meal for an elegant destination wedding in San Francisco by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy

(Photo credit: Sabine Scherer Photography)

Reason #3 – You’re planning someone else’s wedding

When you don’t have the information or the steps on how to do something, what do you naturally do?  You copy.  You look at what someone else is doing and you follow them.  Maybe it’s your sister’s wedding and you just use all the vendors she used.  Or you see a wedding online and you copy the design.  Or you look at some generic timeline and just do whatever it says.

Hey everyone does it.  But, while this gives you something to follow, it also makes planning your wedding harder because it’s not you.

Everyone is different and every couple is different.  When you copy another wedding, the choices you make don’t end up feeling right.  You end up unhappy about a vendor because it wasn’t what you actually wanted.  You end up spending money on something that doesn’t really matter to you.  And you end up doing things you don’t need to do and instead of focusing on what is important.

When you plan YOUR wedding and create a wedding you love, it all comes together naturally.

You spend your money where you want to.  You make decisions according to what matters to you.  And you plan your wedding according to your own customized timeline.  But, without your unique vision not only do you end up with a cookie-cutter wedding, but one that is harder to plan.

Wedding reception decor at a wedding in Hawaii by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events creator of Passport to Joy

(Photo credit: Chrissy Lambert)

These 3 reasons are the major hurdles and why planning your wedding is so hard.  It’s why some couples end up eloping.  And why couples procrastinate.  It’s why you want to tear your hair out at times or throw your computer against the wall.  It’s why you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and confused.

But, listen up!  It’s totally normal to feel that way.  And more importantly, it’s not your fault!  Why would you have all the information?  You wouldn’t.  You’re diving head first into this world you’re not familiar with and it’s all new and unknown.  So, as to be expected, you don’t have the information or the steps you need to know.

But, don’t beat yourself up about.  Now that you know why planning your wedding is so hard, you can do something about it!  And I can show you how.

Start planning here and become a Passport to Joy member today!

So you can keep enjoying your engagement and also keep all your hair.

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